Fasting 15hrs, shopping haul 5:6:19
May 6, 2019
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a1rXvSLST9w

you came into my goodness season good
morning welcome to Monday good on Monday
oops
yes we were okay this is odd
my mirror keeps moving um yes
we're on Monday it is officially the
first day of Ramadan which I've talked
quite a bit about in recent videos but
if you don't know Ramadan is our it is
our religion that we are religious it is
our holiday that we celebrate for our
religion and so we don't eat or drink or
anything from sunup to sundown and today
is the first day of that I did figure
out my medicines and I think I figured
it out
good enough
okay anyways it's for our religion and
you do it for 30 days and it officially
started today they declared it last
night that it would start today so that
is what today is holding so beans it's
the first day of Ramadan it is 947 I am
on my way to counseling I am running
behind
but it's 947 Azhar slept so bad last
night oh my goodness she I don't know
what was up with her but it started from
the time she went down all the way
through the night sheet us and she
turned and she cried and she uh I was
her kicking bag I was her punching bag I
was her everything back I was just like
come on child
just sleep well she didn't so
she kept me up most of the night so one
morning time came I did not want to get
up you know there was no me wanting to
get up I really don't I hate me behind
trucks that have rocks in them I hate it
for all it's worth I hate it but I mean
God our windshields already cracked
don't need a cracked anymore but I also
cannot afford to be late so I kind of
like try and speed up
anyways so she did not let me sleep I
did not sleep very well last night I
tried to let Olli sleep as much as
possible this morning before I left and
then when I left I went and will come up
and it was like oh hey baby you're gonna
have to get up so that is that is so
hard because I'm used to like going and
getting a tea or going to get him
something but you guys I am going to do
this this year I'm gonna do it with your
guys's encouragement and strength I'm
gonna do this I have to do the full 30
days so I am it's gonna be tough but
it's gonna be rewarding and you know
like a lot of people have said it also
is a good thing to reset your body with
weight loss and last year this is when I
started my life journey was right after
Ramadan because I showed myself that you
know what you can do it Amy you can fast
you can be without food and you're not
dead you were hungry you are thirsty at
times but you're not dead and so it
showed me that I you know it's not all
about food and that's how it's gonna be
this year you know as I'm allowing this
to reset my mind reset my body I do want
to weigh I'm in oh I haven't weighed at
home for a while so I did weigh at the
doctor's like I was telling you guys
yesterday on my life but I'm gonna do a
way for myself today
and that way I can coops that way I can
get an official wave before starting
Ramadan and see how much I lose during
Ramadan I am really kind of interested
to see how that's going to work so
anyways I am just on my way to
counselling and then after that I think
I'm gonna take a little bit of time for
myself because it no me time this
weekend it was just it was a really
hectic weekend and so all he told me
that you know after counseling just go
and find a park or something just sit
and read or you know do whatever I mean
he doesn't care what I do
oh so he said just take some time for
myself so that's what I'm gonna do but
anyways I just wanted to officially say
good morning and I hope everybody is
having a wonderful search of your guyses
Monday's it's gonna be beautiful here
it's already 65 it feels great right now
let's hope it stays a little cool for
for the next 30 days I don't know that's
gonna be my luck but we'll try it but
anyways I just wanted to say good
morning and I will check in with you
guys at some point after my counseling
let you know how that goes and let you
know where I'm at so alright I'll talk
to you soon
it's just something about this place I
love it
I just want to show you guys what it
looked like in here
all right you guys I just got out of
well I didn't just get out of counseling
I got a cat I got out of counseling a
little bit of got ran by dog tree really
quick because I needed to pick up some
electrical tape which I did I picked up
just I get it from there because it's
the same stuff as Walmart cheaper and
then I picked up these are these cute
was a doll I love them anyways so I
picked those up and then I went set at
the park for just a little bit just to
have a few minutes of relaxing and then
now I am on my way home all he's gonna
jump in the shower and then we need to
go to Costco and go and do a little bit
of meat shopping because we didn't pick
up meat yesterday because we weren't
sure if Ramadan was starting today or
Tuesday but it's starting today so we're
just gonna go and pick up some meats
then we'll come home but he asked me it
was like you just come home so we can I
can take a shower and go and do all this
before it gets too warm and I'm like
yeah that's fine I was like I wasn't
gonna be out who's gonna be out too long
anyway so how it works but uh anyways
counselling went so good you guys it
really did it went really well
you know I we talked about how you know
I'm I'm touching places in my childhood
and things like that
that you know our trauma and it's hard
it's hard and I was telling her how I
just feel like so raged full right now
and I feel like ever since Monday when
we had this first set with my mom ever
since then I just feel like I've got
hate on me and I don't know why like I'm
just I'm hating everything around me and
you know and I'm even like 80 myself and
that's so hard because it's not who I am
but it's like almost like you know I
just I can't even stand being around my
own self
because I just I feel like I'm wanting
to crawl out of my skin and I don't know
why and the only thing that I can come
up with is is it got something to do
with Monday's session of this whole
situation that happened with my mom and
obviously unresolved issues from my
trauma from my childhood leading and
bleeding into my adulthood and not
getting the validation that I wanted or
needed from my mom but yet have oh my
god why do you do that
people just pull out and they just stop
like anyways but not getting the
validation that I was looking for and
clearly being almost laughed out by her
husband you know and told that I'm drama
you know I generally acting sorry I'm
over at we're overreacting you know
according to her her husband said that
I've nothing about drama and I'm just
like yeah you really don't know me
clearly me and my mom's husband we don't
we do not see I don't think we ever will
but anyways that's a whole nother
scenario
whole nother story anyways but it just
showed me that I do have a lot of
unresolved stuff that I have to deal
with still as you know it was in my
childhood trauma and stuff and you know
not getting that straight validation but
in the world not getting that true
validation that I really was looking for
from my mom just really hurt and it
still bothers me because she still can't
validate me but I think after talking to
my counselor you know I think we have
come to the conclusion that I just don't
think she can she doesn't have the cover
the the capability she doesn't have the
capacity to give me the validation that
I'm looking for and I've got to accept
that because I'm just gonna be this
person that keeps slamming my head into
the wall waiting for her to validate me
and it's not gonna happen
so you need to stop looking for it so
that I can continue to live life and
enjoy life but not Beall out searching
for something because I'm never gonna
get what I'm looking for which is having
my mom be the mom that I am to my
children you know being present with my
children and loving them unconditionally
and supporting all of their dreams and
wishes and you know meeting all of their
needs those are the things that I want
as as a child to my mother and even
though I'm an adult it still doesn't
take away my childhood needs you know
even though I'm an adult and so yeah I
just you know today's session was a
really good session but it really showed
me that I still have a lot of unresolved
trauma and healing that I have to get to
because I want to live a very healthy
successful free life and not have
something holding me back or making me
feel like I can't reach the stars when I
know I can if I wanted to but because
I'm looking for validation from the
sources that I'll never get it from I
constantly keep pulling my arms back
down and saying no no I can't do it I
can't do it but in reality I know I can
do it it's just a matter of having
enough faith within myself and trusting
myself and not having to look to others
to give me what I'm looking for and so
anyways yeah counselling was a very good
session I just pulled up to the house
I'm gonna go in so all you can go take a
shower we can go grocery shopping but I
will check in with you guys a little bit
later see what's going on see what's
going on in this town
hey you guys so we just got back from
the grocery store and I thought I would
do another shopping haul hopefully this
one's a much better one anyways I'm
going to jump right into it because my
kids are wanting to have some of the
food so it's gonna be a meltdown city
anyways so I will show you guys and then
as I'm showing you I'm going to be
putting stuff away but we went to Winco
and we went to Costco so that's where
all of these items came from I'm gonna
show you guys I'll just tell you what
stores I got each of the items from
they're not all gonna be in the same but
we picked up these they are island way
sharp sharp it's a shore base there's 12
and their actual fresh fruit sorbets so
as you've got orange lemon mango I don't
know
coconut anyways
so there's that we got hold on honey I
got crackers for the babies because I'm
gonna do crackers with Nutella and stuff
on it for them and then also to have
with like fresh fruit so I got them some
graham crackers
watch
I bought these because I like buy my
baby's things yes I did buy my kids
something sweet I also picked up fruit
snacks I'm done yes I picked up okay so
I picked up a thing of fruit snacks
these are the Welch's fruit snacks
they're 100% fruit so let's see what is
this oh we got feta cheese we got from
Costco the ice cream the surveys were
from Costco the fruit snacks were from
Winco my over here over here over here
the rice krispies were from window and
then whoops sorry Omar we bought love gr
Switzerland cheese always a cheese eater
so he bought the cheese Costco another
thing of cheese those came from Costco
[Music]
okay I've got my little helper thing of
salt we buy our salt and stuff from pop
though portions
see here got a dozen of eggs are well 24
eggs put it down please again we've got
more butter remember we don't use
margarine so we buy our butter fry all
right we picked up two bunches of
bananas two things of bananas from okay
we also picked up a thing of lighters I
needed them for my business stuff so we
picked up those here comes we picked up
lettuce from Winco no not yet we picked
up two English cucumbers from Winco and
four bell peppers I will show you guys
what we're having for dinner tonight
it's gonna be really good
it's called mushy and it's like a rice
thing it's real oh my gosh it's really
good
I think this here dad we picked up a
bunch of carrots because here Maya is
there sold stuff in the car okay we
picked up two things of pop-tarts for
the kids for just a little treat we
picked up a thing of almonds because all
he cooks with them we picked up a huge
thing of lentil we use that for our soup
trying to like I said I'm trying to do
this fast you guys we picked up a huge
thing of sesame seeds again all he uses
them for like his flat ball
cilantro smell for men like which one is
this oh that is parsley whoops okay we
picked up a thing of mint dill dill and
dill we also got because like I was
explaining with us having Ramadan right
now we're not eating really well we
don't eat through the day but we also
bought things that will be a little bit
easy for us to cook for the kids during
the day because of course they can't
fast but we're not wanting to stand in
the kitchen and slave over a hot stove
when 'world's fasting so we did buy
things that were a little bit easy so we
did pick up a thing of taquitos because
they like them they call them burritos
oh I can't reach those I got crackers
because I want to eat that with like
summer sausage in the evening time
before we start fasting again we picked
up two bags of chicken nuggets
for the babies and for Maya - what are
these we got pine nuts I don't know what
they're used for but we got pine nuts
we got dates we love dates in this house
picked old-fashioned beef jerky
and peppered beef jerkey trying to think
of well okay we've got a thing of jam
for the kiddos medicine for the babies
because they've got like some old what's
going on there these are the eggplant
boom boom go blind their uh brain dead
there for a minute
eggplant no leave those alone please
yes those are the carrots hold okay Oh
Maura I don't need all that I already
told us we picked up okay
Omar please stop stop stop
we picked up a huge thing of chicken we
buy our chicken fresh like this from
Costco we also picked up this is what Oh
a huge thing of hamburger meat it is how
many concepts six pounds of hamburger
meat and it's only twenty four eighty
three four six pounds of this hamburger
meat and this hamburger meat is 88% lean
twelve percent fat it is like the best
hamburger meat and then we also got a
thing a beef ribeye steak it was fifty
dollars and eighty-eight cents for five
pounds of ribeye steaks again we like
our meat we also picked up a huge thing
of ketchup
oh think of two things of mango orange
juice and that's how sometimes we'll
take orange juice as well and blend the
carrots and add orange juice with
carrots we have this huge bag of does
Medi rice that we get from Costco in
this cost how much is this seventeen
dollars and it's 20 pounds of best muddy
right so we get our rice from there and
then what else what's in that bag then
okay and then we picked up a bag of
apples tomatoes onions all this came
from Costco lady said we usually buy our
produce from Winco we rarely buy much
from Costco another thing of onions a
huge bag of baby zucchini hahaha
you guys I do know my zucchini that's
gonna go with our dinner tonight and
last but not least two things of Turkey
spam because the kids love Turkey so yes
that is my whole you guys I hope you
enjoyed and and gives you a great ideas
of things that you can buy for your
family so anyways I'm gonna get this
edited and get it posted up on to my
channel talk to you guys soon bye
